short rant

though i will probably expand this rant at a later date.

someone i know has recently given birth and has known since that little pee-stick came up positive that she would be a single mother. she has a gorgeous child and she thinks the world of that baby, but she has found herself in the hellish depths of postpartum depression. it IS a real thing, people. unfortunately, even people who acknowledge the reality of its existence often have a tendency to dismiss it when faced with someone they actually KNOW having it, as though it is some foreign disease we've heard of but that does not happen to good ol' Americans. so all of her "supportive network" of family + friends keep redirecting her to each other or just flat out saying they do not believe she is depressed. she has always been depressed and has a history of serious anxiety, so given the circumstances, it is not at all surprising that she is struggling now with the PPD. i was worried that this would happen, actually.

it seems that i am the only person in her life who genuinely believes her when she says she's not sure she can take it much longer. she hasn't slept in weeks, even though the baby sleeps plenty. she is unable to quiet her mind or her emotions enough to get any rest. i have been there, done that. i was lucky in that my exhaustion always won out and my boys slept like angels, but i do remember how depressed i really was. i remember seeing a couple of counselors after jack was born, being given medications and feeling apathetic entirely once they took hold. neither feeling was okay to me. she cannot afford to see a doctor and her insurance won't cover such things.

the problem i am facing is that i live almost 800 miles away from her and thus am unable to provide any hands-on help. if i could take the time off of work or find a way to be there, i would absolutely stay up with her child and let her rest. i would make sure that she had someone to talk to about the things she feels but is terrified to admit because somehow, we as mothers have conditioned each other to believe that if we vocalize that things are not okay, we're bad parents.

so what is a friend to do? more importantly, what is a broke, single mother of a newborn to do when no one will listen to her pleas for help?