some details about today

I nearly froze my tits off on the way to work. This would have been particularly tragic as I never really had tits to begin with, so I would most likely end up with negative tits. Not even lucky enough to be at zero.

On my way home from work, I got the word that I was picked from the various applicants to move into an apartment in Logan Square (my old Chicago 'hood) with 2 people I already like very much. There will be many details forthcoming about the new place, but I will understate my feelings here and say, "I am ridiculously excited about this apartment and these roommates." One of them is going to help me build a platform bed. Which now means I need to go ahead and buy that memory foam mattress I have been lusting after for years. Less than 2 weeks and I hope to have one of my very own. Apartment Hints: exposed brick, hardwood floors, TWO (rather large) closets for me, gas fireplace, central heat/air (rare in Chicago, it seems), a covered deck bigger than my (rather spacious) new bedroom, a dishwasher (OMFG YES), coffee shop next door, right on friggin' Logan Blvd (which I have always adored for its well-maintained classic Chicago architecture and tree-lined quaintness, despite being a major thoroughfare) and I will be just blocks from my fave cheap Chinese place and "MY" pizza place. Not only is it gorgeous and unbelievable, but it also has the cheap rent locked in from a price set 5 years ago. The people in the next (identical) apartment are all paying $220 more per month, per person, than my roommates and I pay. I could talk about this place all evening, but that would make the next post about it all boring.

I picked up Chinese (not from my fave place) for dinner and I have had a couple beers. Now I am thinking about settling in for the evening and watching movies. The slightly chilled air blowing through the windows inspires me to wear one of my favorite hoodies, but still is not cold enough to make me close out the fresh breeze. These things, combined with that Harvest Moon/Autumnal Equinox, are making me feel so very peaceful and forgiving and hopeful. Makes me happy to be alive.

My boss informed me this morning that our CFO had a chat with him yesterday, discussing how impressed she is with the streamlining of our department's accounting since I came on board. That alone was enough to make me feel like I am actually doing something right in my life. I love my job, my company and my boss. I would be sad if they ever did NOT need me around, but Will (my boss) told me today that he always needs me there, because I do make sure things are going the way they should. I have fixed a number of problems with the old process since arriving, though there are some that still need work (namely, getting other people in the process to do what they're supposed to do) and I have simplified a lot of the prior steps involved. I am proud of that much, but cannot really brag because I know that I could be working harder to make those changes more significant. I just do not want to resent my job, so i opt out of spending my unpaid home hours doing research for work.

Regardless of all these great things, I have been extremely emotional today and I do not even know why. No real indication of what was upsetting me, but I just felt very strongly sad or frustrated or bitter for the biggest part of the day. So much so that when Will asked me about Jack + Eli and he said something about how my "eyes light up when I talk about them" I started crying and said, "I need to get out of here. I have to get to the bank before it gets crazy." Then I just almost ran out of his office and had to get it all out in the empty elevator during the 20 second ride downstairs. I have not really felt all day like there is any reason to be sad, so maybe all the built-up stress of the last couple of years just came out in this one odd release. Like I was finally so relieved that I could focus on other things. Maybe. I don't know for sure, but I feel fine now and have for a few hours, at least, so I think it's over.

The fall is the hardest season for me, though it is my favorite. This year is worse than others, yet I know it has just begun and there is plenty of time for it to turn around entirely. I will continue to hope for improvements, and try harder to be more thankful for the things that have gone well.

My Eli can now do addition, though they're not yet learning it in his class. He also prefers to read TO his daddy, rather than having Stew read to him. Jack is as astounding as ever, and is constantly impressing every new person he meets. Those 2 are things that went right (even if I did not) and are something that I am constantly thankful for, no matter how everything else has turned out. They taught me the foundations of everything I will ever need to know.

Today was a good day. I didn't have to use my AK.