reality check.

i've always said that the minute i feel optimistic, the entire world will assault me at once. i am glad to know that i was not incorrect in that assessment, but sad to know that i was.

i'm trying to go ahead and nail down my new year's plans, since those will directly tie to my christmas plans, etc. and it's good to have something to look forward to. the one roomie is rarely home and not reliable as a source of scheduling and the other is going to vegas to fuck prostitutes and gamble away his future. if luck has its way with me (and it almost always does) i will be sitting home alone here in chicago, watching it snow outside my window, thinking about how shitty the year has been and how the upcoming year will not likely be any better at all. yeah, i know, it's easy to be a downer, but let's face reality... this is how things go for me. i am not the girl with the happy ending to her shitty story. there is no lesson to be learned here beyond, "do not even bother trying, because it will only make you feel worse."

methinks that NOW is the time for leftover pizza. and probably a refill of this vodka/7up.